NEW RESOLUTION FOR '09. RESULTS!!!!

In the time that the Lord has given me to make my mark on this floating pebble in this sweat stain of the US other wise known as Phoenix, I sadly have come to the realization that many people that speak very eloquently and promise so much will find them selves lacking in the follow thru. I have been working on a deal that has been going on since last year in May. Here's my problem. I feel like I'm in the military! All parties involved want me to produce people, and things immediately like I'm a magician with a dove up my sleeve. They ask for results in a matter of hours NOT DAYS, HOURS and they think that it must work like this always cause Ben makes a call and it magically appears! Well silly rabbit, trix are for kids and I am feeling a bit childish right now. My rant is mostly because I have had this deal stewing for over six months with every month going by hearing the powers that be telling me that they can close or should close by the end of each month. Well the end of November has passed...no disbursement. Happy Holidays, Christmas and New Years passed with the only thing dropping is a ball and a tortilla chip in Tempe. Well we are now at the middle of January and now I am starting to see the proverbial writing on the wall...don't hold your breath Big Ben. It probably won't happen again this month.

Now the guy I am working with, I consider family. I have known him for many years and I brought him before many of my business acquaintences bouching for his credibility and with the understanding that things could get done. Well since nothing he has said has come to fruition, who's the brunt of the joke...me. Who's the one that get's the sly comments texted to him all over the country because they feel that this person has dropped the ball...yup you got it. me. It's very lonely out here on this limb.

So now I am stuck at a cross road. Do I tell him that he is full of what everyone tells me he is and ruin a business contact and obvious friendship. Or do I handle him like my crazy uncle ----, (I am not going to mention his name cause he really exists. hehe) Do I just smile and pat him on the head like I do with every time I see those parts of my family that think they know big name people but can't produce. I feel like I'm wrestling with a pig. If I do tell him how I feel regarding this one deal, do I become counter productive because all it did was tear him down. I could blast him out of the water and let him know exactly how I feel...but who really won in that scenario...yup the pig. Here I am now up to my elbows and knees in mud and fecal matter wrestling to push something that I am starting to think this guy couldn't handle if I gave him oven mits and tongs! So here I am sitting on my hands and holding my tongue praying that Mr. Magoo keeps the car on the road and gets us to that destination. Yup, I guess in this one case I'm gonna shut up and put on a happy face understanding that I can't get mad at him. I am the decider of all decisions I make and I decided to put this person as point in this one scenario. This deal is going to fund! If I have to personally go hold the check writer's hand as he makes good on all the documents and covenants made this deal will fund! What does that mean for future deals? Well it means that RESULTS is my new "mantra"...if I really beleived in them....for this year! I always hold myself to a higher standard where I mean what I say and say what I mean. I have always lived by the quote from Scarface. Tony Montana looked at the guy from Columbia right after he killed the snitch and without blinking tells him, "hey there are two things in this world that I won't break for anybody. MY WORD AND MY BALLS! If I tell you it is done, I would hope you could take that check to the bank. I think I'm gonna have to start expecting the same! For now, I'll shut up in the back seat of this roller coaster and hold on...your thoughts???

FRUSTRATED...BUT NOT DEFEATED!

So just got out of another great meeting. I just closed another deal that will net me somewhere around four times what I was making at channel 3 when I was there. The only problem is that it's in the world of financing where nothing is fast or easy. I can get documents signed by people till the day goes long but the problem is that it will take anywhere from 60 to 90 days to see monies. I have a deal right now that STILL HASN'T PAID OUT and I closed it in June of last year! Yeah I'm pissed! So this is different for me. I'm used to being in business where I make a decision and then it finances. Enough said. Not in this business. What to do but keep pushing I guess! Alright tomorrow is another day...We'll see:(

What's Wrong with Me???

Yes, I know I just opened up pandora's box and will soon be having every person sending me nice lengthy emails and responses detailing every flaw and idiosyncrasy in my person and psyche, but I am a little confused at this time. I'll explain...

So I have been on this quest somewhat like the holy grail trying to find an assistant that can meet the daily challenges of what is known as my life, business and family...yeah I know no big deal right? I first started with a wonderful assistant that thought quick on her feet, was a go getter...and tried to steal my clients.:( Next I had an assistant that thought she was a Rock Star and insisted to give her proverbial two cents to every conversation. Good, Bad or Indifferent. That and she didn't like to work...wait I thought that was my job. hehe Then I had an assistant that was military trained, government cleared up to the Pentagon...and smoked pot like it was going out of style! Last week I thought I found her. A mother of 6 with a degree and her real estate license! JACKPOT!!!!!! I thought, "if anyone can handle the crazy rigamero known as my life, this is the person. She showed up Sunday to fill in all her paperwork and bring her daughter to check out the day care we provided for her lil one and everything seemed great for Monday. She showed up Monday and GOODNESS IF I WASN'T RIGHT!!!! She's a slam dunk! Or was she...I remember during the day she expressed that she was having a hard time understanding ALL the facets my company entails. Well last night I got an email from her telling me that she was having to quit due to complications. AFTER THE FIRST DAY????? Well at first I was going to say what's wrong with her...then I thought," what's wrong with me??? This is my fourth or fifth assistant and they are quitting faster than they are hiring. I checked my pay scale I was paying and it seemed to be at least competitive. I don't know. Any thoughts? I'm going back to bed.:(

Sicker than a dog!!!!

OH my goodness, woke up yesterday with a pit in my stomach...still have it today. Cardinals won though:) yeah... People said that the time Cardinals win, hell would freeze over...does that mean we are gonna rain tomorrow? hehe Have a great Sunday yall...

Review of '08

Well this is my first shot at this. You know I have written and done so many things that would fill up three lifetimes and yet I am not even 40. In my life, I have been able to meet and work with the greatest in the music and entertainment industry. How I got in it...don't ask me, I've just been trying to keep a job. hehe I wanted to take a moment and contemplate my last year. It has been a year full of hope, disappointment, sadness, loss, excitement, prosperity and all of this in 12 months. Well I started the year living the dream. I was working at Channel 3 and also running my agency. It made for long days but wow what a great time. In April, I helped a friend from another television station out when he asked me to meet this girl that wanted to get in the television industry. Of course, we met for lunch and she had asked alot of questions on who was the person in charge at the station and that she wanted to start as a talent. I told her that there was a process and that no one started just at the top. I gave her may card and the number to the executive producer at the station and wished her well. Well needless to say after our meeting, this sad excuse of a woman called the station. Threatened to sue and said she would not sue if they would put her on the air...I know in many places and circles that would be called extortion. Not at the station. They ran my A$$ through the ringer and took my business cards and press pass. After weeks of them checking out my background as I said, they found exactly NOTHING. Did they apologize. Nope. They wrote a very scathing chastizement and said they were very sad at the situation.
Well about two months later, the station ran out of money, so they had to get rid of a third of the workforce. Everything from talent, production and everywhere else they could think. People were pissed. Oddly enough, I already know I was gone. God had already let me know that and I was not only prepared, but I was trying to find a nice way to get out of the station anyway. So they paid me to do what I needed to do anyways. So, on my birthday I got fired.:) Good times. Honestly, I miss it. I miss the comradery and the creativity we had in subcontrol. That and also the fact that they had taught me a new craft in Television Directing. Que Sera Sera...
New Chapter...Politics. Right after I left the station, people came out of the wood work for my company to not only run their political campaigns but also consult their branding. Craziness!!! I had to run a person running for State Senate as well as someone running for Maricopa County Health Board. I batted 500 with one winning and one losing. The one that lost though was such a hard race. Fun but hard. I value those days and look forward to more. The whole time I have been working with a friend out of California. We have had a deal that would launch my company in the works for almost six months. With no fault of my friends, the deal has not closed yet. And therefore my world has somewhat become a little more stressful than I prefer. Well deals have come and gone. I believe I now have carpal tunnel and will write more after I have surgery...hehe Well hoping '09 is just as eventful if not more.:)